Here’s What Happened

and why this book exists

I was grieving. The kind where you lose someone who is still alive. I never intended to write a book. I was trying to makes sense of something that didn’t make sense. But what started as a few lines, turned into several pages. And then it turned into something I couldn’t ignore.

I couldn’t explain what I was dealing with, at least not with a clean explanation. It didn’t show up all at once, it drug itself out. Eventually, it demanded somewhere to go. So I wrote. Not because I had answers, but because I was trying to heal, and I didn’t know what else to do with it.

Some of what is in this book is specific to me. But the feelings aren’t. Confusion, loss, staying longer than you should, trying to get clarity from something that will never give it to you, that part isn’t unique. I’m not trying to tell you I figured it all out, because I didn’t. But I made it through it, and this book is what that looked like. I hope my words meet you where you are, and if it feels familiar at all, then it did what it was supposed to.